My Issues With Air ~

A year ago last winter, during a particularly cold snap, one of the worst possible things that could happen to a financially challenged bloke like myself occurred. My furnace broke. It didn't just break, it died. It died a cold and heartless death.

I called around to find someone that could come out and make things better for me and Max (the Beagle.) I opted for a locally owned outfit that, despite their slick presentation, seemed like a bunch of good-ol-boys. Alas, they were money hungry and clueless to the concept of customer service. They charged $1.50 each for those little plastic caps that electricians use to insulate spliced wires. They charged me $400 for a new furnace motor and then, when it became apparent that the motor was not the problem they only gave me $100 credit.

Thieves.

Sooo, I found another outfit, some real down-home folks, and for a mere $1935.00 I got myself a new furnace installed and some great conversation and information on furnace care, not to mention about 5 portable heating units to keep the Beagle and me warm until Bessie (the christened name of the new furnace) could take over.

Ah. Warmth.

And so it was that the summer came and went and winter came again. The day before I was to leave for my folks' house for the Holidays I discovered a frightening lack of water pressure and an odd sound coming from the basement, a sound that reminded me of, well, water, rushing out of a broken pipe.

I went into the basement, waded through the lake that was growing there and turned off the water main. I changed my clothes and loaded Max into the car and we headed toward Grandma and Grandpa's house, leaving the crisis until after Christmas.

And so it was that I learned that the frigid air outside had seeped through a basement window and frozen a water pipe that ran near it. The copper cap at the end of the pipe had blown off like a missile and shot across the basement. As it turns out, though, I was able to learn what I needed to fix the problem on my own. It made me feel accomplished and, quite frankly, a little on the macho side. I got to use a blowtorch!

Alright. Now it's late July in Missouri. The outside temperature is in the mid-90s by 10 a.m. and the heat index is inching toward 100. Actual temperature by 3 p.m. is supposed to be 101, and warm air is coming out of my central air unit.

I call the pals o' mine that fixed me up with Bessie and they come out and, lo and behold! the fan is busted in the outside compressor unit. $280 later I'm up and running again. Two hours later, it's blowing hot air again.

Another call to my buds. Is it freon, or the lack thereof? No. The compressor itself has overheated and shut down. The vent is clogged with dirt and can't cool off. With a piece of high-tech equipment (a garden hose,) the compressor is cooled off and the vents are cleaned out. Yippee! Cool air! My house is a better place to be!

That evening, as I finish doing some calisthenics with the idea of improving my cardio-vascular health, I discovered that - alas - the air coming from the air vents is not cold. I turn the unit off and sit, sweating, in the middle of my livingroom floor and bury my face, dripping with oozing water from my newly shaved head in my helpless hands.

Then, as only the best of friends will do, Max came up to me, licked my ear and sat down, front and center, tail wagging in anticipation of an early evening walk.

This morning I called my pals at the Ma and Pa HVAC place and, yes, it seems I'll need a new unit. But, hey! It will only cost me about $1300!!! And they might be able to have it installed by the weekend!

So much for joining the gym. So much for buying my buddy's truck. So much for that new wardrobe and home entertainment system. So much for the new roof!

Alright. Time to buck up! There is life after debt! I just need to be warm in the winter and cool in the summer and be able to think straight in between. Think - think - think....