Walking, Cash and Life

On Saturday, April 20, a local group called RAIN will be holding their 9th Annual "Salute to Life Walk." RAIN stands for Regional AIDS Interfaith Network and is the local organization that administers government funding for AIDS/HIV patients in the central Missouri area. While taking my dog, Max, out for one of his potty runs last week, we ran into a card table festooned with banners, laden with pamphlets and staffed by semi-enthusiastic volunteers soliciting for walkers for the event. The idea is to have each walker try to get donations from friends, family and anyone with some money to spare to "sponser" them in their "salute." I don't really understand how it is supposed to work, but because the folks at the table were paying a good deal of attention to Max, which always improves my opinion of people, and because I have had to take advantage of their services in the past (and, if things don't shape up at work, I may have to take advantage again!) I decided to sign up as a "walker." (This term reminds me of the catagory I fell into as a grade schooler because I walked to and from school. It afforded me all sorts of time to indulge in the architecture of my fantasies, but that is a different story....)

Max and I will be walking as a team. My only fear is that he may resort to one of his favorite tricks, that is, when on a walk and he decides that he's tired, he just lays down where ever he is, on the side walk, in the middle of the street, anywhere, and becomes dead weight. It is nearly impossible to move him. Now, with so many people around to "ooh" and "aaah" at him, perhaps he will keep up the pace and do me proud. If not, it could serve as a metaphore for what the disease and what the treatment can do to a person, that is, chronic fatigue. "I know I've just walked half a block, but I can't go any further....just let me lay down here for a moment...." (Here you can imagine a field of poppies and Edith Hamilton in her green makeup glowering over her jumbo crystal ball reciting the infamous words, "Poppies...Poppies will make them sleep!" But, perhaps in this case it should be, "Sustiva....Sustiva will make them sleep...and dream...AAAAAh--ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

So, Max and I will be walking. Walking and dreaming. I've gotten four sponsors so far and have put together a whopping $30! This will get me an Official Salute to Life T-Shirt! Being a t-shirt kind of guy, this is actually an okay thing. Now, if I can somehow get $100 I could get both the shirt and a RAIN Sport Bottle! Yippeee! Dare I shoot for the $250 level where I can get a RAIN Ball Cap? ( I like ball caps, too!) Then there is the $500 level that would get me an official RAIN Nylon 6 can cooler. And then, finally, at $750, there is (dare to dream) the ultimate RAIN CD Music Package! (Heaven help us if it is Donna Summer's Greatest Hits!) Once the $750 level has been reached, I would be in the running for the GRAND PRIZE: a one night stay for two at a local bed and breakfast or a night on the town here in Columbia for the two runners up! Let's see now...I've collected $30 and to have a chance at nabbing the Grand Prize I need at least $750! And the walk is this Saturday. Hmmm. I don't think it will happen.

There is an irony here. When I was first diagnosed with this "condition" I decided that I did not want to spend my time in the company of others that were infected. I did not want it to take over my life. All too often I had encountered people whose entire existence seemed to be dictated by their disease. It was their only topic of conversation. They competed with others on the number of pills they took daily or what their most recent opportunistic infection was, how severe and what was the most interesting shape a lesion of Kaposi's Sarcoma had taken. I knew that if I fell into that trap I would never be able to claw my way out again and I would most certainly die a limp wristed death. No. I wanted to surround myself with the healthy and the living.

It didn't take long for me to realize that no matter how hard I tried, the disease had taken over my life. It was the first thing I thought about in the morning, the last thing I thought about before sleep, and the topic of my infections and my treatment was not shared with others in the same situation, but with co-workers, family and friends and even strangers.

Now, things are a bit different. My dog has taken over my life and my disease is a distant second. It is more important to me that Max is well socialized, well trained, happy and healthy than any of my own problems. And, not suprisingly, taking him for several poop runs a day has done my health plenty of good. I get more fresh air and exercise and, because he is so damned cute and sociable, we're meeting tons of new people. And HIV status doesn't even come into the picture!

I will continue to gather contributions and Max and I will walk with the others on Saturday. If someone asks about my own health status, I will tell them. Otherwise, I'm just out to support a good cause and give my dog a chance to get tons of attention, not to mention an extended poop run! Maybe next year we'll do it again. And maybe I'll get enough sponsors to get that RAIN Sports Bottle, and dare to dream about the Ball Cap.